


secrets

by waveydnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Tattoos, kind of, post coming out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: of sharpie tattoos and facing the bittersweet truths of a post-coming out universe





	secrets

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know i’ve written sharpie tattoo fics before and no, this probably won’t be the last time. sorry not sorry

“Would you ever want a real one?”

The sharp chemical scent permeates the warm summer air in their bedroom, but Dan likes it. He’s always liked it, even before it reminded him of blue eyes and wonky cat whiskers.

“You know I don’t,” Dan murmurs, reaching up and tucking his hands under his head. The tip of the marker is scratchy as always, but he can tell Phil is trying hard to be gentle. “Commitment issues.”

Phil tuts, incredulous. “You always say that. I see no proof of it.”

“You don’t count.” He nudges his knee against the soft bulge of Phil’s cock in his underwear.

“You realize every other human being on the planet is referring to romantic relationships when they say they can’t commit, right?”

“Do you want me to get one?” Dan asks. “Is that what this is about? I thought you liked drawing them on for me.”

“I do,” Phil says. That’s all he says. He frowns in concentration at the loops and swirls he’s leaving in wet black ink on Dan’s chest.

Dan senses something else hidden in that frown. “Do _you_ want one?”

“My mum would kill me.”

“She wouldn’t have to know.” He props himself up on his elbows to watch as Phil moves the sharpie down to decorate Dan’s belly. 

“I’m not getting a tattoo on my penis, Daniel.”

“I was thinking ass, actually.”

Phil smirks. Dan can tell he’s annoyed about it, because it disappears as quickly as it’s come, but it’s too late. Dan’s already seen it.

“What would you get?” Dan asks, lying back down. “A cactus? A lion? A life size portrait of Chris Hemsworth’s abs?”

“I’d get ‘I hate Dan’ right across my forehead,” he deadpans.

“What about the whole Kath murdering you thing?” Dan asks.

“Worth it.”

Dan nudges him again, though this time Phil’s crotch is too far away and he has to settle for the belly. 

“What are you drawing?” he asks, closing his eyes. It’s the middle of the day but it’s hot and he’s sleepy and Phil had interrupted his nap in favour of making art on Dan’s body.

“Everything,” Phil says. “Just doodles.”

Dan nods, falling quiet to enjoy the tickle and the smell and the way the world feels small and still when he’s in bed with Phil.

He thinks he’s almost asleep when he feels soft fingers tugging his pants down to just under his balls.

“If I wanted to get matching ones would you do it?” Phil asks quietly. The tone of his voice tells Dan it’s not asked in jest. He wants a real answer.

“Of course.” He doesn’t have to think about that. He’d do anything Phil wanted. “ _Do_ you?”

“I dunno,” Phil murmurs, leaning down and kissing Dan’s hip bone. “Maybe.”

“What will we get? Each other’s names?”

Phil shakes his head. “Too obvious.”

“Cat whiskers.”

Phil chuckles. “Too cheesy.”

Dan props himself up again. “It’s supposed to be cheesy.”

Phil looks up, staring at Dan with his ocean eyes sparkling. “Sometimes it hurts my stomach how much I love you.”

Dan’s heart jolts. “The feeling is mutual.”

“I was gonna give you a blowjob, but now I kind of want to cry.”

Dan sits up fully, kicking his pants off because it’s easier than pulling them back up. He reaches for Phil, who climbs into Dan’s lap and wraps his legs around Dan’s waist.

“What’s going on?” Dan says softly, running his hands up Phil’s back.

“It’s daft.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Phil’s teeth sink into his bottom lip a second before he drops his forehead down onto Dan’s shoulder. “It’s like, insecure teenager levels of daft.”

“Ok, now you _definitely_ have to tell me.”

Phil chuckles, biting into Dan’s skin before he speaks. “I miss having a secret with you.”

It takes a while before understanding clicks in Dan’s brain. “You mean… us?”

Phil nods. “I told you it was stupid.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. I don’t.” Phil squeezes his legs around Dan a little tighter and Dan knows he means it. Coming out wasn’t a decision either of them came to lightly. “Not even a little bit.”

“But…” Dan prompts gently.

“Yeah.”

“Phil, we have a whole decade’s worth of secrets.”

“I know.” He tilts his head and kisses Dan’s neck. “I know, babe. It just feels like… like the whole world knows the biggest ones now, you know? And I’m glad, but also… I miss it.”

“My feelings for you were never really a secret.”

“You know what I mean,” Phil whispers.

“I do. But I also know how many moments we have that’ll always be just for us. Like our holiday in Wales, remember?”

Phil nods, face still pressed up against Dan’s neck.

“And our last night in Tokyo?”

“Oh,” Phil says, the edges of his voice warm with surprise and softness at the memory. “Oh. Yeah.”

“So many more. Too many to even count.”

Phil nods again. His head is laid down on Dan’s shoulder now. “You’re right.”

Dan grabs the sharpie up out of the sheets and pushes Phil back onto the bed. He tugs Phil’s pants down and kisses his hip before leaving his mark there, an ebony brand of his love on smooth ivory skin.

Phil looks down at it and smiles. “Perfect.” He holds out his hand for the sharpie and Dan hands it to him before lying down so Phil can give him a match.

“Think we’ll ever do it for real?” Dan asks when Phil lies down next to him.

Phil shakes his head. “Wouldn’t be a secret then. The tattoo artist would know.”

“True.”

Phil rolls away momentarily to grab the duvet and pull it up over their naked bodies. He snuggles in and drapes his arm across Dan’s stomach. 

“Goodnight, weirdo,” Dan says, kissing Phil’s hair. 

Phil grunts his reply sleepily, and they drift into an indulgent afternoon nap to the sound of the fan next to their bed and the shared happiness of one more little secret to add to their collection.


End file.
